A healthy rivalry is always a good thing when it comes to sports. Nothing makes a game more exciting than when the opposing team is one that you feel has personally offended you simply by existing. As a Suns fan, there are a few teams out there that tend to inspire such intense emotions.. However, one team above all others incites a category 5 level of rage from this particular Suns girl.
The San Antonio Spurs. Even typing their team name makes my blood pressure rise. I remember for my 20th birthday my dad took me to a Suns/Spurs game.. it was my only experience sitting in the lower level and it was magical. My dad got the seats because a friend from work had season tickets and was willing to give up 2 of the 4 for us. As such, my pop and I were joined by some of his esteemed co-workers. Have you ever blacked out from rage? I think that happened that day. I don’t remember many details from that game, but I know I came home with no voice and some ‘splaining to do when it came to my dad’s friends’ now sour impressions of me.
The thing with the Spurs is that they’re just dirty. The Lakers have always been rivals of ours, and I can think of quite a few of their players that I would gladly smack around, but I can at least admit (though chagrined) that they’ve got skill. The Spurs will foul and foul and foul and straight up fight their opponents all the while employing the classic “who me?” face once the whistle blows. Don’t believe me? Check out David Gladow’s blog showing the Spurs top ten iffy plays here.
And if the actual fouling isn’t bad enough, the overblown theatrics that these jerks employ to draw fouls boggles the mind. For instance:
Let’s examine this picture. Tony Parker is curled up in a ball.. Steve Nash stands over him.. The natural reaction is, “What the hell did Nash do to Parker??” Good question. Clearly someone was hurt in this showdown.. and clearly that someone was Parker, right? Why else would he be in the fetal position on the court while Nash stands victorious? Let’s take a closer look at the aftermath, shall we?
Wait, what? Nash was the one who got hurt? And yet Parker hit the floor like an abused puppy? Something doesn’t seem right… I call shenanigans! The line of logic for Spurs players seems to be if you get hit, hit the floor and wait for a whistle. Sorry folks, but this fan will not stand for such malarkey. For more in depth analysis of how following games in this season devolved into nonsensical boxing from the Spurs, go here.
It’s a burden hating one team so much, it really is. Beyond the excruciating anxiety and rage that I willingly subject myself to every Suns/Spurs game, there’s also the personal ramifications. I’ll leave you with this sad anecdote from an otherwise stellar first date this summer.
Guy: So, do you like sports?
Me: Yeah, I follow most, but I’m a HUGE basketball fan.
Guy: Wow, that’s really cool. I’m not a giant basketball person but I do follow the Spurs when I can.
Guy: Yeah, they’re just fun to watch!
Needless to say, I never saw the dude again. Every person has their deal-breaker. Whether its smoking, dog allergies, lack of sense of humor.. we all have at least one thing that we cannot get over, no matter how great a date may be going. For this lady, a Spurs fan is never going to make the cut.